Sometimes i ask myself am i really ready to this again?
Is dating Mr A the right thing to do?
On days like this, i find myself praying and just asking God to take the wheel and take control. There is no doubt that this man loves me. Its all in his eyes and the way he treats me. He makes me want to be a better person, he is giving, knows how to make me laugh, he loves God, he encourages me and pushes me hard to not just be satisfied at where i am but to strive for greater heights, he is focused, he is resourceful and the list goes on.....
I think i am liking or even going beyond liking this man who puts no pressure on me who accepts my own pace as just being fine. He comes with his own issues and so do i and am sure he is learning to put up with my own issues and love me despite my shortcomings.
There are a few things about him that really grates on my nerves. Like him being too particular about everything. E.g. he doesn't want to go to a church in peckham, he doesnt want to buy stuff in a particular shop just for no valid reason at all. How he keeps telling me i have to be careful if i drop stuff on his floor, or when i am about to alight from the car. I am not a child for crying out loud. He sees stuff and just cant ignore without commenting.
Last week i helped with his dishes. For some reason i didnt rinse the soapy zinc afterwards the easiest thing to do would have been to rinse the zinc himself but he felt he had to let me know on how he finds it absurd that i didnt wash the zinc after doing the washing up. A lot of the time, i just let it pass over my head and he gets no reaction from me. I Know all this sounds pathetic but don't couples fight over the silliest things?
Today, we had our very first "serious" argument. We went shopping for food items. Saw a very good friend of mine from across the road making her hair in the salon. I told him i'd like to go say hello and asked him to come with me but he refused. I went over said hello and my friend having heard so much about him asked to say hello to him. I signalled for him to come over but he walked off. I quickly said goodbye to my friend and caught up with him.I was livid and the ffg dialogue occured.
Me: I was calling u but u walked off
Mr A: You cant just be making spontaneous decisions like that
Me: You call going over to say hi to a friend for a minute spontaneous?
Mr A: Are u upset?
Me: You bet I am
We bought our stuff and then got into the car.
Mr A: Do u want me to drive you home to cool off
Me: **silent treatment**
He takes me home.
Me: I cant believe you brought me home. The plan was to go to ur place to cook afterwards
Mr A: I don't want to be around a moody person
Me: You are talking about us getting married soon. Is this what you would do if we were already married? Drive me back to my mother's house?
Mr A: You cant be treating me like your puppy dog.
Me: How? Lets switch places. If you wanted me to say hi to a friend of yours who u happened to come aross on our way out and i walk away, how would you feel?
Mr A: You are over reacting
Me: Fine. See u later
Got out of the car. He drove off and i went straight to my room and a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I was pretty upset.
He has called me several times but i havent picked up.The whole situation got me thinking how two totally different people come together and how its not always easy to get along or agree to the way the other person is but when you are adamant and want things to work and know what you have is special, you put differences aside and resolve issues.
I am outta here. I think i need to call back a certain somebody.
Monday, 31 May 2010
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
In Concert
Went to see Miss Keys today @ the O2 Arena and it was fantastic. Mr A and I are both huge fans of hers and he got really good seat. She is even more beautiful in the flesh and very pregnant. It was so much fun!
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Update and Another Lesson learned
Thank God am back again!
2009 was very eventful. Heartbreak and love coupled with doing a Master's degree.
Broke of my engagement in january of 2009. Hardest period of my life. Took time to get back to being me and where i used to be. If not for God i truly don't know where i'd be. So in November started dating again. Dee came into my life in May of 2008. Attended the same church different parishes. We were just hi and hello acquaintances. He showed interest but i was quick to cut it off as i was in a serious relationship. Knowing how gists spread, he got to know about the called of engagement but took his time to stay out of the scence until Nov of 2009 when he got in touch and lets just say he "wooed" me. Was sending text messages, calling and we saw each other regularly. Things went pretty fast and we back serious quick.
We spent so much time together talking, eating out and doing things people in love do. We talked about our future. I had to leave London on Dec 17th 2009 for christmas holidays. He went with me to the airport and we just kissed and didnt want to let go. It sure was going to be a lonely xmas without him. We spoked everyday for hours and hours even cut short the duration of my trip cuz i had missed him so much.
Got back and things continued as they should and even better. Towards the end of January it all started going wrong. He wouldn't pick up his phone. Would promise to come over but wouldn't. I couldn't come over to his place. It was always one excuse after another. I had never been in such a situation in any of my two previous relationships so i broke it off. He would beg and beg and declare his love change for a week and then go back to his old ways again.
This was a vicious cycle. Him misbehaving, me breaking it off, him coming back to beg. This went on till the end of March. One day i saw a text msg on his phone declaring his love for some girl. Calling her baby. I confronted him but he said they were just friends. This punk-ass aint playing on my intelligence so i wasn't having it.
On the 1st of April, he told me he was actually dating this girl in question and she's been his friend for a few years but they just started dating because i kept breaking up with him. He said he loved both of us, loved me more cuz we've shared so much and we have a close bond. I wasn't having none of it. For 3 weeks we just went our seperate ways not keeping in touch.
On the 20th of April, got these texts from him after he called at 7 am.
Dee 9:10:12- Hi! i just want to let you know that I MISS YOU! Hope ur fine? You may not believe me but I LOVE YOU
Dee 9:19:59- We need to talk and see pls text back
Me 9:29:30-There really isn't anything to talk about. I have moved on and see you've done the same. We've been through this so many times
Dee 9:31:32- Pls give me another chance pls I LOVE YOU
Dee 9:34:04- I want us to discuss somethings that will be of important benefit for us
Dee 9:37:46- I dont want you to give up on me we've come a long way.. Pls don't do this.
He begged to see me several times.Because i missed him and part stupidity I saw him and the feelings kept flooding back. I was so stupid so many times. I Keep hitting my head because despite knowing i wasn't the only one, i kept on like nothing had changed. So i snapped out of it ignoring his calls even after 4 missed calls On May Ist and several msgs on the 2nd
Dee 20:03:35- I MISS U.
Dee 20:04:53- Can i come and see you later tonite So being an idiot again i saw him on the 4th of May we hung out all day and even say him on the 8th of May. Then i woke up in the middle of the night on the 10th crying profusely. I felt hurt, used, betrayed and lied to. I prayed like i had never prayed before and just told Daddy to remove him completely from my life.
There was this renewed strength that i don't know where it came from but i know only God could fill me with.
So i heard from him yesterday 12th may
Dee 20:53:14- Hi babe, its very hard to go through this... I MISS YOU A rage suddenly came over me. Anyone who knows me well will testify to the fact that not much gets to me. I am not quick tempered at all. So i replied saying:" Wanted to ignore ur msg but decided to reply. You are very patronizing. I beg u don't ever send me those stupid 'i miss u', 'i love u' text mgs. They are lame and dont work. Don't even pick ur phone to call me.You are full of deceit. I hope that the same measure in which u've been deceitful and treated me and those other girls including the one u are with no be handed back to u a hundred fold. GROW UP. This way of urs aint cute"
This is it no more. I hope for his sake he never gets in touch with me again
Looking back i was at fault too in a lot of ways. There was a Mr A who has been a friend of mine since 2007. He came back into my life in february just when all this issue with Dee started. Dee knew about it and wasnt too happy but i kept om with the friendship since he wasn't making things right btw us.
Mr A is a good guy who loves me with all his heart but i am not thinking of going down that serious route with him. Being hurt to much by Dee. Mr A understand and is helping me with the healing process. He is always there to talk to, hang out with and he puts no pressure. He's helped me a lot to want to move on from Dee.
We are both praying and taking each day as it comes. So fingers crossed all will go well. I like him a lot :) He makes me serious and i bring out the fun side of him.
I defended my dissertation yesterday. Fingers crossed success will be guaranteed.I am just thankful to God for his grace and mercy upon my life. I am so undeserving of his love and i strive to know him better everyday.
It is so good to be back and my blogging will be frequent as i am done with school and have more time on my hands.
Leaving you with lesson learned by Alicia Keys.
2009 was very eventful. Heartbreak and love coupled with doing a Master's degree.
Broke of my engagement in january of 2009. Hardest period of my life. Took time to get back to being me and where i used to be. If not for God i truly don't know where i'd be. So in November started dating again. Dee came into my life in May of 2008. Attended the same church different parishes. We were just hi and hello acquaintances. He showed interest but i was quick to cut it off as i was in a serious relationship. Knowing how gists spread, he got to know about the called of engagement but took his time to stay out of the scence until Nov of 2009 when he got in touch and lets just say he "wooed" me. Was sending text messages, calling and we saw each other regularly. Things went pretty fast and we back serious quick.
We spent so much time together talking, eating out and doing things people in love do. We talked about our future. I had to leave London on Dec 17th 2009 for christmas holidays. He went with me to the airport and we just kissed and didnt want to let go. It sure was going to be a lonely xmas without him. We spoked everyday for hours and hours even cut short the duration of my trip cuz i had missed him so much.
Got back and things continued as they should and even better. Towards the end of January it all started going wrong. He wouldn't pick up his phone. Would promise to come over but wouldn't. I couldn't come over to his place. It was always one excuse after another. I had never been in such a situation in any of my two previous relationships so i broke it off. He would beg and beg and declare his love change for a week and then go back to his old ways again.
This was a vicious cycle. Him misbehaving, me breaking it off, him coming back to beg. This went on till the end of March. One day i saw a text msg on his phone declaring his love for some girl. Calling her baby. I confronted him but he said they were just friends. This punk-ass aint playing on my intelligence so i wasn't having it.
On the 1st of April, he told me he was actually dating this girl in question and she's been his friend for a few years but they just started dating because i kept breaking up with him. He said he loved both of us, loved me more cuz we've shared so much and we have a close bond. I wasn't having none of it. For 3 weeks we just went our seperate ways not keeping in touch.
On the 20th of April, got these texts from him after he called at 7 am.
Dee 9:10:12- Hi! i just want to let you know that I MISS YOU! Hope ur fine? You may not believe me but I LOVE YOU
Dee 9:19:59- We need to talk and see pls text back
Me 9:29:30-There really isn't anything to talk about. I have moved on and see you've done the same. We've been through this so many times
Dee 9:31:32- Pls give me another chance pls I LOVE YOU
Dee 9:34:04- I want us to discuss somethings that will be of important benefit for us
Dee 9:37:46- I dont want you to give up on me we've come a long way.. Pls don't do this.
He begged to see me several times.Because i missed him and part stupidity I saw him and the feelings kept flooding back. I was so stupid so many times. I Keep hitting my head because despite knowing i wasn't the only one, i kept on like nothing had changed. So i snapped out of it ignoring his calls even after 4 missed calls On May Ist and several msgs on the 2nd
Dee 20:03:35- I MISS U.
Dee 20:04:53- Can i come and see you later tonite So being an idiot again i saw him on the 4th of May we hung out all day and even say him on the 8th of May. Then i woke up in the middle of the night on the 10th crying profusely. I felt hurt, used, betrayed and lied to. I prayed like i had never prayed before and just told Daddy to remove him completely from my life.
There was this renewed strength that i don't know where it came from but i know only God could fill me with.
So i heard from him yesterday 12th may
Dee 20:53:14- Hi babe, its very hard to go through this... I MISS YOU A rage suddenly came over me. Anyone who knows me well will testify to the fact that not much gets to me. I am not quick tempered at all. So i replied saying:" Wanted to ignore ur msg but decided to reply. You are very patronizing. I beg u don't ever send me those stupid 'i miss u', 'i love u' text mgs. They are lame and dont work. Don't even pick ur phone to call me.You are full of deceit. I hope that the same measure in which u've been deceitful and treated me and those other girls including the one u are with no be handed back to u a hundred fold. GROW UP. This way of urs aint cute"
This is it no more. I hope for his sake he never gets in touch with me again
Looking back i was at fault too in a lot of ways. There was a Mr A who has been a friend of mine since 2007. He came back into my life in february just when all this issue with Dee started. Dee knew about it and wasnt too happy but i kept om with the friendship since he wasn't making things right btw us.
Mr A is a good guy who loves me with all his heart but i am not thinking of going down that serious route with him. Being hurt to much by Dee. Mr A understand and is helping me with the healing process. He is always there to talk to, hang out with and he puts no pressure. He's helped me a lot to want to move on from Dee.
We are both praying and taking each day as it comes. So fingers crossed all will go well. I like him a lot :) He makes me serious and i bring out the fun side of him.
I defended my dissertation yesterday. Fingers crossed success will be guaranteed.I am just thankful to God for his grace and mercy upon my life. I am so undeserving of his love and i strive to know him better everyday.
It is so good to be back and my blogging will be frequent as i am done with school and have more time on my hands.
Leaving you with lesson learned by Alicia Keys.
Monday, 23 March 2009
Here is to blogging
So here i am blogging. Again. Yes i was once a former blogger but the novelty did fade away and so i stopped bloggin for almost two years but am back now hale and hearty and to go back to my former love. So here is to the start of a new blog and new beginnings!
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