Update and Another Lesson learned

Thank God am back again!
2009 was very eventful. Heartbreak and love coupled with doing a Master's degree.
Broke of my engagement in january of 2009. Hardest period of my life. Took time to get back to being me and where i used to be. If not for God i truly don't know where i'd be. So in November started dating again. Dee came into my life in May of 2008. Attended the same church different parishes. We were just hi and hello acquaintances. He showed interest but i was quick to cut it off as i was in a serious relationship. Knowing how gists spread, he got to know about the called of engagement but took his time to stay out of the scence until Nov of 2009 when he got in touch and lets just say he "wooed" me. Was sending text messages, calling and we saw each other regularly. Things went pretty fast and we back serious quick.

We spent so much time together talking, eating out and doing things people in love do. We talked about our future. I had to leave London on Dec 17th 2009 for christmas holidays. He went with me to the airport and we just kissed and didnt want to let go. It sure was going to be a lonely xmas without him. We spoked everyday for hours and hours even cut short the duration of my trip cuz i had missed him so much.

Got back and things continued as they should and even better. Towards the end of January it all started going wrong. He wouldn't pick up his phone. Would promise to come over but wouldn't. I couldn't come over to his place. It was always one excuse after another. I had never been in such a situation in any of my two previous relationships so i broke it off. He would beg and beg and declare his love change for a week and then go back to his old ways again.

This was a vicious cycle. Him misbehaving, me breaking it off, him coming back to beg. This went on till the end of March. One day i saw a text msg on his phone declaring his love for some girl. Calling her baby. I confronted him but he said they were just friends. This punk-ass aint playing on my intelligence so i wasn't having it.

On the 1st of April, he told me he was actually dating this girl in question and she's been his friend for a few years but they just started dating because i kept breaking up with him. He said he loved both of us, loved me more cuz we've shared so much and we have a close bond. I wasn't having none of it. For 3 weeks we just went our seperate ways not keeping in touch.

On the 20th of April, got these texts from him after he called at 7 am.
Dee 9:10:12- Hi! i just want to let you know that I MISS YOU! Hope ur fine? You may not believe me but I LOVE YOU

Dee 9:19:59- We need to talk and see pls text back

Me 9:29:30-There really isn't anything to talk about. I have moved on and see you've done the same. We've been through this so many times

Dee 9:31:32- Pls give me another chance pls I LOVE YOU

Dee 9:34:04- I want us to discuss somethings that will be of important benefit for us

Dee 9:37:46- I dont want you to give up on me we've come a long way.. Pls don't do this.
He begged to see me several times.Because i missed him and part stupidity I saw him and the feelings kept flooding back. I was so stupid so many times. I Keep hitting my head because despite knowing i wasn't the only one, i kept on like nothing had changed. So i snapped out of it ignoring his calls even after 4 missed calls On May Ist and several msgs on the 2nd

Dee 20:03:35- I MISS U.

Dee 20:04:53- Can i come and see you later tonite So being an idiot again i saw him on the 4th of May we hung out all day and even say him on the 8th of May. Then i woke up in the middle of the night on the 10th crying profusely. I felt hurt, used, betrayed and lied to. I prayed like i had never prayed before and just told Daddy to remove him completely from my life.
There was this renewed strength that i don't know where it came from but i know only God could fill me with.

So i heard from him yesterday 12th may
Dee 20:53:14- Hi babe, its very hard to go through this... I MISS YOU A rage suddenly came over me. Anyone who knows me well will testify to the fact that not much gets to me. I am not quick tempered at all. So i replied saying:" Wanted to ignore ur msg but decided to reply. You are very patronizing. I beg u don't ever send me those stupid 'i miss u', 'i love u' text mgs. They are lame and dont work. Don't even pick ur phone to call me.You are full of deceit. I hope that the same measure in which u've been deceitful and treated me and those other girls including the one u are with no be handed back to u a hundred fold. GROW UP. This way of urs aint cute"

This is it no more. I hope for his sake he never gets in touch with me again
Looking back i was at fault too in a lot of ways. There was a Mr A who has been a friend of mine since 2007. He came back into my life in february just when all this issue with Dee started. Dee knew about it and wasnt too happy but i kept om with the friendship since he wasn't making things right btw us.

Mr A is a good guy who loves me with all his heart but i am not thinking of going down that serious route with him. Being hurt to much by Dee. Mr A understand and is helping me with the healing process. He is always there to talk to, hang out with and he puts no pressure. He's helped me a lot to want to move on from Dee.

We are both praying and taking each day as it comes. So fingers crossed all will go well. I like him a lot :) He makes me serious and i bring out the fun side of him.

I defended my dissertation yesterday. Fingers crossed success will be guaranteed.I am just thankful to God for his grace and mercy upon my life. I am so undeserving of his love and i strive to know him better everyday.

It is so good to be back and my blogging will be frequent as i am done with school and have more time on my hands.

Leaving you with lesson learned by Alicia Keys.